Well sitting in a bar alone where no-one knows your name
Is like laying in a graveyard wide awake
You're scared that if you cough or yawn, you might wake up the dead
So pretend to read a paper or just drink instead
I'm a stand-up comedian, but I'd sit down if I could
The world just seems to want folk like me to stand
And the punch-lines seem to disappear like clouds across the sky
And the laughter could be real or could be canned
Rum by the kettle drum
Whiskey by the jar
At Liars' Bar
Well living with a lying man could never really hurt
But living with a drunk, well no-one deserves
And you're looking for your husband, you're not sure he's still alive
Don't bother with the cemetery, he'll be down at liar's dive
I'm a travelling businessman, I just stopped in for one drink
You'll find that I'm not like the other men
Their noses are red, whilst mine is only pink
And they didn't choose their drink, their drink chose them
Rum by the kettle drum
Whiskey by the jar
At Liars' Bar
And the grave-digger's smiling, at his reflection in his spade
He's visiting the seediest, the shallowest of graves
The vocal chords of elephants, and the characters of mice
They're singing "whisky, whisky", so good they named it twice
Well don't pass buildings with lights on, if I said that I did I'd have lied
'Cause what looks like a Chinese restaurant, may have Chinese New Year inside
And son all my life I've been searching, the bars I've been in I forget
The lights outside ever brighter, but a light on the inside not yet
Rum by the kettle drum
Whiskey by the jar
At Liars' Bar
And he's a world-wide traveller, he's not like me or you
But he comes in mighty regular, for one who's passing through
That one came in his work clothes, he's missed his last bus home
He's missed a hell of a lot of buses, for a man who wants to roam
If I look rough I am rough
If I look sad I am
If (M. Jagger/K. Richards)
I said, "Oh no, doncha follow me no more."
I said, "Oh no, doncha follow me no more."
Well I'm looking for my face
And I got no place to go
I said, "Oh no, doncha follow me no more."
I said, "Oh no, doncha follow me no more."
Well, pick your own mind
And don't you touch mine no more
Still waiting here for a single idea
In your clothes and your hair
I wore it last year
Oh no, doncha follow me no more
I said, "Oh no, doncha copy me no more."
I said, "Oh no, doncha copy me no more."
Well, the lines around my eyes
are protected by a copyright law
Well, all the clubs and the bars
And the little red cars
Not knowing why, but trying to get high
Oh no, doncha follow me no more
Doncha follow
Doncha follow